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02-14-02 - 4:21 p.m. It's Valentine's Day and my boyfriend bought me a flower. I don't really like getting flowers too often, or chocolate, or anything like that. It's too much trouble to go to. I do happen to think daisies are the greatest plants on earth, though, and so Leif brought me home a single stem in celebration. I had a talk with Leif earlier today (he was on break from work, so he called me) about this holiday. I said it must be a pain in the ass for guys, knowing that most women foolishly buy into the whole required-gift-giving shit. I told him I don't think it's fair that people think their lovers are obligated to buy things for them, and even worse when women dump their boyfriends when they don't receive anything. "It's just like, 'what the fuck?'" I said. "I mean, seriously. Who wants to date someone that materialistic? Bitches." He laughed. "You are way too easy to date," he said. "But you know I'm gonna get you something, maybe even take you to dinner." "Don't, Leif, really." "Oh, calm down, we'll go to my other work." "Employee discount?" "Yes, stop worrying. I'm not going to spend much money on you." "Good!" I don't know if I've mentioned it, but Leif has two jobs. By day, he's a teaching aide at a high school. The girls there are constantly leaving him love notes on his car, flirting with him, asking about me, trying to convince him they're old enough for him, you know, typical stupid girl shit. "I got more Valentines than anybody today," he said. "This one chick gave me her cell number and a picture of her cleavage." He turned the picture and the number into the girl's teacher. Had those things been caught on Leif, he would have lost his job. Stupid moron girl. The worst part is that she's probably my age. Dumbass. Leif's other job, his part-time, is as a busboy at Steve's dad's restaurant. He loves this job almost as much as he hates it. It's a pretty fancy Italian restaurant and his uniform consists of black slacks, a white long-sleeved, collared shirt, and the same tie every night. Sexy as hell. He never tells his students where he works other than their school. This is a good idea, methinks. Leif was telling me that Valentine's Day was actually a really simple holiday. "You'd have to be a pretty sorry fuck to not get laid on Valentine's Day," he said. I asked if this applied to single men. "Hell yes it applies to single men," Leif replied. "There's tons of single chicks, too. All you gotta do is be a shmuck and buy 'em some shitty chocolates and a rose and you're home-free. Score. You just gotta make sure to be gone before she wakes up or else she'll be attached to you for life." "You're an example for men everywhere." "Hey, I do what I can." In other news, I now have another job. I've been applying for work at a million different places�not restaurants�and went in for an interview yesterday and received a call from my now-boss, who told me he'd love me to work for him, which is good. So, beginning next Wednesday, I will be working as a secretary for a corporate lawyer, who is very successful and told me I "ooze intelligence." I told him I was getting over a cold. (Okay, so I can't take compliments.) In honor of Valentine's Day, Baskin-Robbins has a few new February 14th-themed ice cream flavors. One of them is called "Heartbreak Healer." I really like the ice cream, but I really hate ordering it. I think the high-ups at Baskin-Robbins do this on purpose, come up with these embarrassing-to-order names. It's a little joke they play on the customers. Pretty soon, we'll be seeing names like "Severed Head" and "Aborted Baby Fetus." Can you imagine that? "Yeah, hi, can I get an 'Aborted Baby Fetus' in a cone, please?" "Hi, I'd like two scoops of 'Pus-Filled Boils' to go." Jerks. So I guess that's it, for now. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. P.S. Leif is playing me "Annie's Song" by John Denver. (I grew up loving Denver's music. Shut up, you know you like it, too.) Yay. :)
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