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02-23-02 - 11:41 p.m. Holy shit, I've been drug-free for a month. Get me a red ribbon! Adam, my boss, called me today to tell me he has some big case he needs to work on, and could I please stop by the office for a few minutes to help him go through some stuff? So I went in around 6:30 and got home around 10:45. A few minutes. But I told him I was considering it overtime, so I should be receiving double my regular pay, plus the fact that I stubbed my toe and gave myself a bitch of a papercut, so I would be needing three weeks off and full compensation. He just stared at me. I'm blue today, of course, but for once, it's more of a cyan than my usual navy. There's no immediate reason for me to be depressed, I guess. Oh, except for the whole 'My mom is dying of cancer' thing. Kellie's really upset, too. About Sharon, yes, but she's presently more concerned with the fact that a mutual "good" friend (this guy) doesn't seem to care. She's been talking my ear off about it now for almost three days. As you should know by now, Kellie and I both post at a messageboard. The board really doesn't have much of a theme to it and nothing is considered off-topic. In actuality, anyone who labels his or her message as "off-topic" is subsequently mocked. She posted about Sharon's condition and a good number of the regular posters replied sympathetically, offering their support. Our "friend," whom I'll call "Jake", did not reply or email her. He isn't online all that much, so she didn't think much of it. This past Wednesday, the board's moderator announced that her grandmother, for whom she has acted as caretaker for a year, had to be taken to the hospital, where now her fate remains uncertain. Jake replied, simultaneously with his girlfriend, to this one, offering support and sympathy. Kellie was instantly offended. The other night she got online and IM'd him. They talked for a bit. She said that after only a few minutes, their conversation dulled. She asked him if there was anything to talk about; he said he didn't want to hear a single thing about me. She was taken aback and mentioned that it was never her intention to talk to him about me and mentioned Sharon. He told her he knew, that he had seen her post on the messageboard. She was really hurt, and later emailed him to ask why he didn't talk to her about it. No reply yet, though he posted again, more advice and support to someone, today. She's letting this get to her. She shouldn't. He doesn't deserve her friendship if he can't even post a reply saying he's sorry about Sharon. I think the problem, though, is me. Jake hates me. Maybe it's because I lied to him about my name or because I didn't tell him about my job. But I shared with him more important things, some of the most difficult secrets I've ever had to keep, and...you know what? It's just not worth my time.
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