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03-02-02 - 10:35 p.m.

I just cold-turkeyed smoking. I am now substance-free. It's nice I can make these little announcements for myself before I've had the chance to break my resolutions.

Actually, I honestly don't think I'm addicted to nicotine. I can go days without smoking. I smoke mostly out of boredom. My cigarettes will just sort of be there and I'll get the urge to move them so that they're here. And once they're here, I might as well use them instead of not waste money. I'll let Bryan finish off my last pack of Reds and then be done with them forever. I need to drink more milk to prevent osteoporosis, more potassium to better my eyesight, and more chocolate...just because.

It's ridiculously windy today. I had my hair up in Heidi braids so as not to come home with horrendous tangles. Usually I love wind, but not today. It's kind of freaking me out today. Outside the apartment there's a streetlight, one of those really tall (20'? 30'? I don't know) orangey-colored ones. It usually never bothers me, except that tonight it's sort of...swaying. I have this recurring waking nightmare that features me sitting here, typing in my diary, and suddenly, *WHAM!* AAAAAAAHHH! The damn thing comes crashing down, my apartment catches fire, and I have to move back in with Kellie. Pretty scary stuff. But I guess I'd get a lot of money from the city after filing the biggest lawsuit in California history. So that'd be pretty cool.

Right now, I'm sitting here eating a chocolate chip scone, drinking a tall glass of skim milk, listening to my weekly blues radio program, and taking it easy. My mind is clear and for once, I feel calm, at peace. Good.

 

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