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7-1-01 - 1:20 a.m. Call me crazy if you like, but one of the ways I judge my music is by strippability, i.e. whether or not it would make a good stripper song. Now, of course, artists such as Yanni and Elvis Costello aren't exactly the sort of music you'd expect to find in a strip joint. That means, although I love Elvis Costello and can stand Yanni in small doses, I have to give them very low scores on the strippability scale. Artists such as Madonna, Janet Jackson, and Britney Spears are always at the top of my charts, along with, surprisingly, Squirrel Nut Zippers and Sublime. Does this mean I have ambitions to become an exotic dancer? Not necessarily. Once, I'd like to try it, just for the hell of it, just so I can say I've done it. I don't think it's in the least bit degrading, either...if you don't like the way it affects the minds of men who attend strip clubs, date the men who don't go to them. Simple as that. But don't hate women who do it. Not all of them are single women with seventeen kids and a welfare check. Some like it. Get over it. Anyway... Dwelling on this subject, I've decided to come right out with Hoebag's Official List Of The Top Ten Best Songs To Strip To...in no particular order. Drumroll, please. Here they are: 1. "What U See (Is What U Get)" - Britney Spears 2. "Criminal" - Fiona Apple 3. "Black Cat" - Janet Jackson 4. "Free" - Mya 5. "That Fascinating Thing" - Squirrel Nut Zippers 6. "Caress Me Down" - Sublime 7. "When The Lights Go Out" - Five 8. "Bad Medicine" - Bon Jovi 9. "Gimme Gimme Gimme" - A*Teens/ABBA 10. "American Woman" - Guess Who Close runners-up are: "Ready Or Not" (Fugees), "Danger Zone" (Kenny Loggins), "Billie Jean" (Michael Jackson), and "Papa Don't Preach" (Madonna). Good stuff. :) In other news...I'm sitting here talking to my friend, who just saw The Fast and the Furious, and it makes me really miss my car. Since I'll probably go home for my birthday after summer school lets out (I don't begin my actual classes 'til spring) my family decided it would be smartest to leave the car at home. She's an old lady anyway...36, actually. I have a 1965 Ford Mustang coupe...shiny teal with white wannabe leather interior. It's the greatest car ever made and is totally refinished...and it kicks sooooo much ass. And I miss her. Sniff.
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