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07-15-03 - 1:47 a.m. I bought a flat iron today just so I could justify parking in the Rite-Aid lot when I really had no intention of going there. There were a million "Rite-Aid Parking Only" signs and I was nervous about being towed. So why a flat iron? Well, because I have naturally stick-straight hair and therefore have absolutely no use for it. I got a granola bar, too. Just one. I was only sorta hungry. My car didn't get towed, though, so that's good. Rob and Ricky will undoubtedly have fun with the flat iron. Those two. I wrote this elsewhere and liked it, so I'm going to repeat it: I have been drinking so much lately that I doubt I'd even recognize sobriety if it walked up and introduced itself. I mean, I'm going to quit. I am. I need to. But if I do, I won't be able to invent such clever quips, and that'd be worse than cirrhosis or cancer or bleeding out.
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