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8-5-01 - 11:36 p.m.

Rob bought me several pints of Ben & Jerry's Double Fudge Brownie ice cream (which, by the way, is the main reason I could never become a vegan) so I'm allowing him the privelege of sleeping over. On the futon. My bed is queen-sized, but just for a while I'm going to pretend as though I have any class at all.

He didn't ask to sleep over, but for the past week he's come by early in the morning (around 4:30 or 5 a.m.) to change into his wetsuit and hit the beach and surf. I've been housing his boards and wetsuits and wax (oh my!) and I get the feeling he wants me to store him here, too.

We had one of those infamous Talk things yesterday, in which I told him I would like to "try again." Which means, I suppose, that we're now "going out." Which is kinda "weird" cuz it sorta feels like we're still basically "best friends" even though now we can "have sex" without people thinking we're merely "fuckbuddies." Don't you absolutely "hate" when people use "quotation marks" unnecessarily?

What's even worse is when people make a hand gesture for them, something I despise in others and am trying to cut down on. I talk with my hands. Sue me.

The thing with Rob is that I'm not about to sit here and deny that what we had, for four years, was something really special. I loved him very much, and I'm not going to deny those feelings. Attempting to do so would be to lie to myself and to him, and I won't put up with that kind of dishonesty. It was Rob who made me realize that I was even capable of loving somebody, and that I'm worthy of receiving it just like everybody else. So he'll always have that place in my heart, no matter what. I'm beginning to sound even more corny than normal. I better quit while I'm ahead...

Y'know, maybe it's just the ice cream talking, but I have this sudden urge to bring that list of unknown things about me to a nice 'n' palindromic (is that a word?) 101. It's at 93 right now. So that's where I'll start:

93. I am nearly fluent in American Sign Language (ASL) and Spanish, though I ususally won't admit to either.
94. I only use makeup and skincare products that are cruelty-free (read: anti-animal testing)
95. I have naturally wavy, froish hair that I spend almost an hour straightening and relaxing every day.
96. My favorite physical feature about myself is a tie between both of my eyes, which is why I hate that they're so damn sensitive and bitchy.
97. I have read The Catcher in the Rye close to 25 times, cover-to-cover.
98. I have something like 165 Beanie Babies, though I haven't once purchased one for myself.
99. My most-prized possession is my little pony...that is, my 1965 Ford Mustang.
100. I have pronunciation issues with the word "yesterday." Somehow, whatever the reason may be, I sound drunk when I say it, so that it comes out as "yeshurjay."
101. My favorite flower is the daisy.

Tomorrow (er, today) I get to go see Janet again. It's pretty late. I should probably hit the sack. Rob already has. I just got up to see where he was and he's out cold-in my bed. Hiss. And yet, yay. :)

 

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