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9-11-01 - 11:06 p.m.

If tomorrow all the things were gone
I worked for all my life
And I had to start again
With just my children and my wife

Thank my lucky stars
To be living here today
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
And they can't take that away

And I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me
And I'll gladly stand up next to you
And defend Her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt
I love this land
God bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota
To the hills of Tennessee
Across the plains of Texas
From sea to shining sea

From Detroit down to Houston
And New York to L.A.
There's pride in every American heart
And it's time we stand and say...

That I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me
And I'll gladly stand up next to you
And defend Her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt
I love this land
God bless the U.S.A.

And I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me
And I'll gladly stand up next to you
And defend Her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt
I love this land
God bless the U.S.A.

�Lee Greenwood

Here's irony: I woke up to Don Henley's "New York Minute." The lyrics can be read by clicking here.

Both of Bryan's parents work for the FBI. Both of them are working late tonight. Kellie's dad is a pilot for American Airlines. He was called in today for some conference thing, but I don't know much about it beyond that. Haley's dad is stranded in San Francisco, unable to fly home. I think she was able to finally make contact with him, so that's good.

I just don't understand this. It's incomprehensible to me. I was in New York in April. I walked between the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center. I won't forget how I marvelled at them; I remember looking up, standing between them, and not being able to see their tops. And now they're gone.

If you never saw them, then you can't possibly grasp what engineering marvels they were. It's difficult to imagine the impact their disappearance will have on the New York skyline. The Empire State Building is now, once again, the tallest building in New York City.

I also don't understand the level of hatred these people felt for America. As much as I ever hated anything or anyone, I never even dared to wish death upon them. It just baffles me that the strongest hatred I ever felt is nothing compared to what these terrorists were possessed of. I can't imagine being racked with an emotion that overpowering. It really puts my feelings into perspective. As strongly as I feel about things, am I willing to not only murder, but to die for them?

Today at work, IdioTina (her name's Tina, and she's an idiot, so I gave her a nickname) said we should have prevented this. Not wanting to injure her by asking her to think, I spent some time conjuring up some questions of my own. Rhetorical ones, mainly.

America's a free country. It is this freedom, this automatic guarantee, that draws so many people to America's shores. Were she any less free, perhaps things like this wouldn't happen. And perhaps they would, who can say for sure? Are we willing to find out? Just how much freedom should we sacrifice to stop things like this from happening?

And then I thought about the terrorists themselves. How can we, as once a rebel nation, condemn the actions of these people and celebrate the actions of our own, 200 years ago? The reason Americans won the war is because we fought dirty. We hid behind bushes, fought an all-out guerilla style war. We were ruthless, we cheated, we showed no mercy, and we danced and laughed about it afterwards. Today, isn't it fair to say that the same thing has happened, and that karma might just be hitting us? We glorify Jefferson and Washington for the illegal, underhanded things they did. It was their lawlessness (we call it "heroism") that worked to establish this nation. Our forefathers were fighting for a cause, each willing to die for the sake of independence. These people died for a cause. How is it different?

The difference I see is that, in today's events, we don't understand the motives. We don't even know what they were. But the principle is the same. It was a group fighting and dying for a cause, going to extremes to prove a point (a la The Boston Tea Party, in which we hijacked a boat and to this day, nobody knows just who all partcipated in it) and doing so with morbid success.

Am I saying I'm not angry/shocked/saddened by today's events? Of course not. Bryan and I held each other for a while before I went to work, which was just as it was all unfolding, and we cried together. It's disturbing how much we all take for granted, myself included. Am I saying we deserved this? Hell no. Nobody deserves to die, especially this way.

It's almost impossible for me to fathom that many people dying in so short a time. I thought back to Sunday night at the Madonna concert�what if a third of those people there with me were suddenly gone? Living their lives, having a good time, and then BAM!�dead. Tens of thousands of people no longer breathing, no longer seeing, unable to say goodbye. I can't react to it because I can't envision it. I can only assume horror. Absolute horror.

As to what I believe our course of action should now be, I don't know. I have no idea what we should do, which is why I'm so happy I'm not president. I do know that the nation should remain calm. We can't declare war because who would we declare it against?! We can assume Osama bin Laden is behind it, and then mount an aggressive assassination against him. But that idea sure didn't work out when it was Qaddafi, did it?

I'd say my greatest concern now is our economy. Already weakened and with talks of recession floating about, the only thing really keeping it alive was consumer confidence. How can Americans be confident now, in light of all this? The beating heart of the world's financial bloodline has suddenly come to a terrifying halt.

Sparkler said she wished Clinton were back in office, that he could have possibly prevented this. I disagree. I'm no Bush supporter, not by a long shot, but he's exactly like Clinton in one respect: he's only human. He can't be expected to know when and where terrorists will strike. As president, he is to be expected to maintain his own public calm as well as quiet the nation's panic. For once, I'm on his side. Much as I dislike him, he's still our president, and we're obligated to look to him for leadership. I only hope he can give it.

And so as the day draws to a close, the nation pauses to reflect upon this disaster and look forward to how we will all deal with this.

This is not the end of America. I guess the number one difference between the sacrifices made during the Revolutionary War and those made today is that we got what we wanted. They didn't. They haven't won. Not by any means. We as a nation are strong enough to go on, to endure this, and no sonuvabitch upstart terrorist group can take away the one thing that defines America more purely than anything else: determination. Reporters have romanticized the word as "The American Spirit," but all it is is determination. We were determined to be free. We were determined to be just. We were determined to be the best. This may be the worst our country has ever faced and may be the worst she will ever face, but so long as we are determined to overcome this barrier, I have no doubt in my mind that we will.

My heart goes out to everyone, because this affects everyone. This is something that will forever change our perspectives in life, whether we realize it or not. This is something upon which all our future triumphs and mishaps will be based. This is not Pearl Harbor; it's the World Trade Center/Pentagon. And it's just beginning. And it may never end. But we will survive as a nation, as we have survived before, because that's just what we pesky stuck-up American jerks do. We fuckin' rule.

 

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