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10-4-01 - 9:07 p.m. One thing I I have a fairly nice smile, but unless it's for pictures, I don't show it off much. Usually my face is blank or I'm frowning because I hate stupid people, and stupid people always seem to find me. Also, they travel in groups. I think some customers know I'm faking my smile and only laughing at their pathetic attempts at restaurant humor so as to increase my tip. Note: When your waitress says, "Do you want the soup or salad with that?" do NOT say, "I'll have the super salad" and then expect her to laugh. I assure you she has heard it about 15,000 times and you did NOT make it up and you are NOT being clever or funny or cute and she WILL spit in your soup. Or salad. Today a hilarious young specimen sat down for lunch with his two "cool" friends, all of whom eyed me as if I were a part of the menu. Which, might I add, I am not. It's not that I mind guys looking at me; on the contrary, I usually find it flattering, but when I'm handling five separate tables at once because my pathetic excuse for a co-worker decides she's too stupid to show up or call, I don't have time to pretend I care that they think I'm hot. The hilarious young specimen asked what kind of panties I was wearing. Being the perceptive genius that I am, I thought he had asked what kind of brownies we were serving and I said to him, "I'm not really sure if there are any today, but I can check." I thought they'd die laughing. Or perhaps I should say I hoped they would.
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