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10-5-01 - 6:10 p.m. I promise not to make this a diary of purely work stories. I just have very little else to report on and feel still obligated to write entries every day. Today was Jayne's birthday. I generally have nothing against Jayne, though I know she must thoroughly despise me. She's very old-fashioned, very conservative. She isn't shy and doesn't thump Bibles, but she doesn't really live life to the fullest, either. If not for the fact that we all already knew, she would have gone her entire shift without letting us know it was her 20th birthday. While Jayne was delivering food to a table, two of my co-workers (both male) and I were discussing something to make her birthday different from every other work day. Nick asked me if I'd ever kissed a girl. I said I had and asked why he wanted to know. He dared me to kiss Jayne "like I want to jump her bones." I considered it momentarily and then, when she was out of sight of most of the customers I grabbed her cheeks, pressed myself up against her, closed my eyes, and kissed her. With a small amount of tongue action. Afterwards I went back to work, but my male co-workers thought it was "hot." Guys are so hilarious to me. I didn't wear my ring today. Stacy at work was teasing me, saying, "Where's your engagement ring?" I again reiterated that there is a difference between birthday present and engagement gift, and that I'm just barely ("freshly," Kel would say) 18 and have always been very anti-marriage. Security issues. Detachment. Disassociative tendencies, non-commital...all those things Janet writes in her notebook about me. Stacy said, "Why don't you want to marry him?" She knows just about everything there is to know about me, so I didn't even dignify that with a response. I just gave her a "duh, you airhead" sort of look. As I was taking a pile of dishes back to have them cleaned, she followed me and said, "You should marry him. It's so obvious you're in love with him." I made her drop it there. Why do people insist on telling me just exactly how I feel? Here's another thing that gets on my nerves: When people tell me I "deserve the best life has to offer." I always ask, why? Why do I deserve "the best"? Why not my downstairs neighbor, or the customer who came in this morning and spilled not one, but four consecutive Pepsis all over her table, really trying my artificial smile patience? I asked someone that once (I can't remember who it was) and that person said, "Well, everyone deserves the best." If that's true, who deserves the worst? Idioms are crazy.
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