12-25-01 - 10:16 a.m.

Yesterday and today I opened gifts from everyone I know, except Leif, with whose family I will be dining tonight. He told me his parents love me, but I'm not so sure of that. I got the feeling his mother was a little afraid of me. Wary. But I know his precocious-as-hell little sister likes me. Blah. Anyway...

My gifts, in no particular order:
�a new cordless keyboard
I had one already, but it sucked and made the loudest, most obnoxious clacking noise ever. So Justin got me a new one. :) I'm still adjusting.
�a new camera
I had mentioned to George my desire to photograph the beauty that is San Diego, and I think I mentioned here how in Hollywood a few months ago, I kept seeing things I wanted to photograph. Call it the artist in me awakening at last. So George went out and got me a camera. I would have been thrilled if he had decided to sort of let me permanently borrow his Nikon F3, which is widely regarded as one of the best cameras ever made. He already has a number of lenses and flash attachments for it. But no. George is one of those typical rich bitches who, when buying something, will settle for nothing less than the best. Or the most expensive, whichever he's in the mood for. So I now am the proud owner of a Nikon N65, easily one of the best cameras currently on the market. He bought me a telescoping lens and an elaborate auto-flash attachment, too. All in all, I'm willing to bet this equipment cost somewhere in he vicinity of $600. I can't handle that. Anyway...
�Eeyore stuff
Slippers, an umbrella, a talking plushie, and embroidered tube socks!! Oh my god I love Eeyore. He's been my favorite Disney character ever since I can remember. (Appropriate, no? I also like Oscar the Grouch...)
�gift certificates
We had a Secret Santa thing at my work, and my fellow server, a guy we call "Brick" (he's a huge wall sort of guy) got me a $50 gift certificate to Victoria's Secret. $50 was our limit. I spent, I think, $30 on the GAP card I bought for Terri. What am I gonna do with $50 to Victoria's Secret? I mean, besides buy some fundies (fun undies), obviously...yeesh. I got a $20 reloadable Starbucks card to feed my caffeine addiction. $50 to Banana Republic. (That should buy me one pant leg!)
�bath stuff
I love taking baths. Oh yes I do. Why? Because I'm female. I love being able to be alone so I can read or write something in peace. I go all-out, too. Candles, dimmed lights (unless I'm reading), soft music, bubbles, bath pillow...the Hoebag knows how to live.
�leg warmers
�Britney Spears stickers
�a mousepad with a picture of what my Mustang used to look like on it!!
�two stuffed Coca-Cola bears (love 'em!)
�a buncha blank CDs
I'm willing to bet that since my birthday (October 2nd, when I received my CD burner) I've burned upwards of 30 discs. I love music.

I think I probably got some more stuff (clothing) but I don't remember. After typing that, I want none of you asking me what I got for Christmas!

I really have to smack the spacebar on this keyboard. A little annoying, but I suppose I'll get used to it.

So yesterday I finally sat down and read A Child Called 'It', something I've been meaning to do for years. As far as everyone knows, I had already read it, a long time ago, breezed right through it, and god that's such a shame all those things his mother did to him. Truth is, I hadn't read it. I wanted to, but then a big part of me wanted to never think about that kind of thing again. Which is both stupid and impossible. So I sat down with Kellie's copy and read. It's a very easy read, simple sentences and small words, but it's also very difficult to get through. It's a very disturbing account of one boy's struggle to survive his horrifically abusive mother. Dave Pelzer, the author, is quite obviously a very strong individual.

I had to take a few breaks while reading it. Some things just hit too close to home for me to deal with. When I was done, I broke down and briefly considered writing Pelzer a letter. What I would say, I have no idea.

Bryan told me I should write a similar book. I said no. Why would I want to do that?! I exploit my feelings enough as it is with this diary. What you might call "expression" I see as "exploitation." Good god no. I don't want to be a writer. I don't want people writing me letters of appreciation or telling me they love my work. Screw that.

Anyway...merry Giftmas to everyone. Jesus is born today!

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