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7-5-01 - 9:03 p.m. Do you ever log on to AOL Instant Messenger and see a name on your buddy list you swear you've never heard in your entire life? Then it turns out they're on AOL, so their profile won't show up-or if they're not on AOL, they just plain don't have one. That really bugs me, for some reason. I just don't see why people don't at least put one of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts in it or something. My profiles are usually complex insights into the very depths of my highly philosophical mind...or else some random RENT lyric. Here's the latest on the Kellie and Laura semi-argument-that-should-not-even-be-happening-because-it-is-hideously-stupid: She's, as she has said in her most recent voicemail bitchfest, not mad at me for sleeping with him. She's mad at me for sleeping with him because he's 22. La ti frickin' da. Song of the moment is Phil Collins - "Another Day In Paradise." Lexi has told me that my Winamp playlist is the most random one she's ever heard...just because it goes from Oasis ("Wonderwall") to Burl Ives ("Lavender Blue") to N Sync ("Pop") to Phil Collins. So I have varied tastes. Sue me. I saw something disturbing today-some girl (who looked to be about nine or ten) was prancing around in a bandeau-style bikini and extremely tight cutoff denim shorts. Am I the only person left in the world who thinks that sort of thing is completely uncute?! Her baby-fat stomach was bigger than her nonexistent rack! I just wanted to stand there and laugh at her. Fortunately, Noah's just as immature as me, and he went over to her as though he was about to flirt with her, told her she wasn't making herself look any older by dressing that way, and that in fact it just reaffirmed how juvenile she appeared. It's fun to be a jackass. I just filled out the strangest online quiz I've ever been forwarded. It's "interactive." Basically, what you do, is you go back and correct every other person's answers to make them true, which will make for some rather interesting conversations. I only sent it to two people, though-two people who already know just about everything there is to know about me-so we shall see. It's supposed to be stormy tonight. It's time I confessed something else in this diary of mine: I am terrified of thunder and lightning. Perhaps growing up in a climate devoid of anything besides the sun and the very rare light winter shower has not prepared me for such events. I'd last about four-and-a-half minutes in Florida with its hurricanes. Or maybe that's just as stupid a fear as the one most people have about California's earthquakes. Yes, they happen. They also happen in Japan and the Philippines and everywhere else along the Ring of Fire. Plate tectonics is such a fascinating area of study. Anyone considering a vacation in CA should be more afraid of sunburn than earthquakes. I mean, that's as crazy as canceling a trip to Hawaii because you're afraid Kiluaea (I'm sure I've spelled that horribly wrong) is about to erupt. Congratulate me. I've managed to ramble on for a good 30 minutes without once stopping. Sometimes I amaze even myself.
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