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8-20-01 - 5:48 p.m. Well, I guess I can truthfully say I've taken a step towards "recovery" - whatever that is. I threw away my penknife. I went out to the dumpster (a pretty long walk, actually) and buried it deep beneath the pile of stinking bags. I don't want to cut anymore. I don't want to burn, either, but I'm not going to throw away my lighter (or my stove) just yet. If I'm in great emotional pain, I'm just going to scream into a pillow and bear it. My hands were ugly enough before the scars. I guess my fame won't be built on a career of hand modeling. That's ok. Britney Spears has unattractive hands, too, even if they aren't scarred. I did it. It's done. Now I just have to make sure Rob doesn't take to sword-collecting.
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