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01-26-02 - 12:17 p.m. Note to self: Never take Evil Bitch Neighbor's threats lightly again. She does follow through. Sort of. The parking thing turned out to not be much of an issue, as I alowed Justin to drive the SUV while I took the Mustang out for some fun, and he parked it legally and neatly, right next to Evil Bitch Neighbor's Datsun. She has a "TRUTH" fish on her car, the one that's eating the Darwin fish. Eating someone alive constitutes murder (might I add a very distasteful�no pun intended�method) and murder is against God's laws. Glorifying the sin of murder by means of illustration through little plastic fish can't possibly be a good idea for good Christians. "TRUTH" my ass. Anyway, so she must have called the cops about me because I answered the door Wednesday and found two policemen standing on my landing. "Are you Laura Dawson?" "Yes?" "We have a warrant to search the premises." The "premises." Not "your apartment," not "your home." The "premises." Bastards. So they came in, messed everything up, made a big mess, and arrested me for possession of heroin, marijuana, and cocaine. I called Leif, who posted my bail, and came home and briefly considered accidentally shooting myself in the head, but then, deciding it wasn't such a big deal, I called my lawyer, Georgine. Georgine saw me Thursday. I went with Bryan and Justin, who were concerned. Georgine asked if I had notified my landlord. I said I hadn't. "Laura," Georgine said, "you could lose your apartment over this." "But I won't." "You're so certain?" "I slept with the landlord." Justin and Bryan looked at me, stunned, and Justin blurted out, "Girl, who haven't you slept with?!" I grinned. "You." I took notice of Bryan's knowing grin as he looked away innocently. Georgine didn't laugh. She kept repeating that this was a "serious issue," that I'd have to plead guilty (like I'm stupid enough to say anything else), and that I needed to tell Sharon and George. Which I will. Soon. Yesterday I went to court, pleaded guilty and was sentenced. I got off easy. I mean, seriously easy. Slap on the wrist. I've been fined, rather excruciatingly, but will serve no time and do no community service, though I will be on probation for three years. No drugs for three years. I personally have decided that alcohol and nicotine do not count. I'll be checked up on, of course, but I'm not going to jail, and that's all that matters. Leif, who was absolutely furious with me, and having threatened to dump my ass if he'd caught me with anything harder than pot, dumped my ass, having caught me with things harder than pot. So I am single. Which is good, I think. I should probably be more upset about it than I am. But I'm not. So that was my week. Oh yeah, something I almost forgot to mention: I made an ass of myself in court. When asked to plead, I said, "Guilty, Your Worship." I think the judge thought I was being a smartass, but really, I was being a dumbass. Oops.
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