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6-28-01 - 6:25 p.m. I'm gonna try and keep Noah out of this one...really, I am. Something I've noticed - When you're in high school, you refer to it as "school." When you go to college, it becomes "class." Why? Anyway... Today after class, I ventured out of the apartment with my roommate, whose name is Lexi, to ask Mr. Landlord about pets. Here's what we learned: 1) Cats, dogs, and birds are totally unacceptable creatures, as they are the scum of the earth and are collectively responsible for both World Wars, as well as the AIDS epidemic and the fact that cancer does not yet have a cure. Sound a little extreme? We thought so, too. He actually believes that felines are the embodied spirits of all the witches ever burned or hanged in Salem and Europe, that dogs are the familiars of vampires, and that birds aren't actually animals, but instead are all mechanical devices other countries use as spy agents. I wish I was making this up. I really, really do. The second thing we learned was that we can have fish, hamsters, rats, mice, and no more than one snake. The limit per rodent is three. So, with no further ado, I'd like to announce the arrival of Harry, Ron, and Hermione-all hamsters. I still think fish would have been smarter, but Lexi says she's willing to clean their cage...they're all female, and seem to get along tolerably well. She picked the names, and I thought the idea was cuter than Simon's "Huey, Dewey, Louie" reference, so hmm. So yes, Harry and Ron are now, officially, female. Bwa ha. In other news, I now have a job. It's not in Cambridge, but Lexi will be working at the same place with me, so it should be fine. It's this restaurant where all the servers dress up like famous folks and give hourly performances. We ate there and, while the food is hellishly expensive, it's good, and the atmosphere can't be beat. To my surprise, they don't have anyone working as Britney Spears, so I told the guy I was interested in a job, can sing and dance, and have waitressing experience. He signed me on as a hostess, and I'll start probably next week. Now I just need to decide which Britney to be. Maybe I'll be the "Oops!" Brit and wear a red catsuit. Lexi will be working as hostess with me, and I'm gonna see if I can convince her to be my rival, Christina Aguilera. They already have a Madonna, cone bra and all. Wheeee! So that's it. It's really, REALLY hot today. I think my cast is melting...here's hoping, at least.
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